We were dressed, and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party. We turned on a night light, covered our pet parakeet, and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.

As we walked out the door, the cat that we had put out in the yard, scooted back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife went out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife didn't want the driver to know that the house would be empty for the night. So, she explained to the taxi driver that I would be out soon, 'He's just gone upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'

A few minutes later, I got into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away. 'That stupid #%&*$# was hiding under the bed.

I had to poke her a** with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck.

Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat a** downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!'

The cab driver hit a parked car