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Thread: From Deacon, he seems to think some of us are as old as he is........

  1. #1

    Default From Deacon, he seems to think some of us are as old as he is........

    This comes to us from Deacon:

    If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when 'Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they Are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course...


    Q. Do female frogs croak?
    A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

    Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
    A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

    Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
    A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

    Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
    A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

    Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
    A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning

    Q.Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
    A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

    Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
    A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

    Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
    A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

    Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
    A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!

    Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
    A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

    Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
    A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

    Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
    A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

    Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
    A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

    Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
    A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

    Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
    A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

    Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
    A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

    Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
    A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

    Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
    A.. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

    Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
    A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

    Q.Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do ?
    A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

    Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
    A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

    Q.When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
    A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

    Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
    A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

    Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
    A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh!


    "The most important branch of aviation is pursuit, which fights for and gains control of the air"
    U.S. Brigadier General William Mitchell

  2. #2

    Default Re: From Deacon, he seems to think some of us are as old as he is........

    Humor is always funny and has no date attached to it. I was going to send the one concerning state mottos but I saw that Nevada's had something to do with poker and prostitutes and wanted to save you any possible embarrassment until I remembered that you had previously sent us photos of a cat house down the street from where you live.

  3. #3

    Default Re: From Deacon, he seems to think some of us are as old as he is........

    Actually Deacon, the "Cat House" isn't down the street from where I live, it is where I live. Not really, but the "Red Light District" is just two blocks off the main drag and to those of us that have grown up with legal prostitution it is hardly noticeable.


    "The most important branch of aviation is pursuit, which fights for and gains control of the air"
    U.S. Brigadier General William Mitchell

  4. #4
    Administrator wheelsup_cavu's Avatar
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    Default Re: From Deacon, he seems to think some of us are as old as he is........

    I miss Paul Lynde, George Gobel, Rose Marie, et al.
    Those shows were too funny and you never knew what they were going to say. :o

    Funny Carson skit with George Gobel talking about being a pilot instructor during WW II near the end of the clip.
    It has Dean Martin and Bob Hope too. I wish I could find the whole uncut episode. :(

    Wheels

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